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Andrew Soria Fan Fiction The Legend of Thoria Grammatically Correct Short Story: The Legend of Thoria *Thoria theme plays* Once upon a time, there was a reputed warrior named Thoria, who lived in a boat shoe, with no socks. Thoria’s homies included Thanos, Jimmy Neutron, and the Muffin man. The four of them were known across all of Skyrim as the “Wonder-Pets.” But, Skyrim was not safe because the “Evil-Team,” was comprised of Mrs. Kelsey, Lucifer, and The Gays (All of them). Before now, all the chromosomes had lived in perfect harmony, until the Evil-Team attacked. Mrs. Kelsey garnered Thoria’s shoe house while he was away from home drinking with the lads, Thanos’ sumptuous amount of pillows with Gamora’s face on them, and The Muffin Man’s thick, delicious, scrumptious, and loquacious croissants. So, The Wonder-Pets got together, took her to their penthouse and literally freaked it. At the penthouse, Thoria and the lads were just chilling when the rest of team evil, Hitler and All the Gays in Skyrim, arrived. They all said in an overweening tone and in unison “What the heck man, why would you guys do that.” Thoria stood up and summoned Okonkwo West to defend Skyrim. Okonkwo West Wakanda Forevered and all the gays instantly evaporated into pixie dust. The Muffin Man and Jimmy Neutron locked hands and literally off the top rope, Nagasaki style rko'd Hitler. But Hitler had brought along Angela Merkel. Mrs. Kelsey and Angela Merkel then paddywack-mollywhopped the Muffin Man, Jimmy Neutron, and Thanos in one blow, then proceeded to take Thanos’ time stone and turn back time to bring back all the Gays in Skyrim and Hitler with their acuity. Thoria was absolutely clobbered into the wall and Okonkwo West could no longer hold his form in the material world and disappeared. With Thoria’s world crumbling around him he closed his eyes for a momen, he felt enervated. He opened his eyes and saw something large looming on the distance. His shoe house. Thoria closed his eyes again, overcome with pain, then opened them once more. The Evil Team stood above him, ready to finally defeat Thoria. Thoria was suddenly filled with rage, his fists clenched and he unsheathed the sword hidden inside his tie. *Thoria theme plays* Thoria stands up, raising the blade and all the Evil team we’redefeated. Thoria then stole his shoe and homies back and lived happily ever in his shoe with his lads. Andrew Soria: A Love Story Mr. Soria felt something a little bit strange in the air when he woke up that morning. There was a certain buzz of excitement and tension in the air. Everything seemed heightened, the light just a little bit stronger, the noises a little bit more crisp. Yes, thought Mr. Soria as he sat up in bed, today was a very peculiar day. It felt passionate, almost… but no, this had to all be projection, Mr. Soria thought. He got out of bed, reaching for his glasses, and even in the heightened atmosphere he exuded a sense of confident relaxation. In his typical morning routine, Mr. Soria brushed his teeth, washed his face, (Mr. Soria never brushed his hair, as he appreciated the natural, rustic look), grabbed his purple button up shirt and purple pants, and looked for the perfect necktie. He had just picked out his Snoopy one when he heard a knock at the door. Hurriedly draping his tie around the back of his neck, Mr. Soria rushed to the door, and swung it open. At first he was surprised, there was no one there, but then a small feminine voice cooed a gentle “Ahem,” and he looked down to see none other than Minnie Mouse herself, smiling up at him out of one corner of her mouth, her oversized (but assuredly pretty) bow tie fixed on her head. He opened his mouth in shock, but before he could say anything Minnie’s crowbar collided with his head and everything went black. Mr. Soria woke up in a dark place. His eyes made out a faint blur of red and tan, and remembering what had happened, he shook himself fully into consciousness, the mysterious blur resolving itself into Minnie Mouse. He tried to move his hands, but they were tightly bound to the chair behind him. “Oh good,” Minnie Mouse said, her voice so soothing as to almost put Mr. Soria at ease, “My darling Andrew has woken up.” She caressed his cheek with a gloved hand. It felt cold against the dried blood coating the side of his face. “Wh-what is this?” asked Mr. Soria. His jaw trembled as he stared desperately into Minnie’s enthralling pupils. “I’ve been following your adventures for a long time now,” Minnie whispered. “When I woke up in your world I couldn’t resist finding you. Is it too soon to say that I love you?” Her face moved closer to his. He could feel her warm breath on his cheek, smell the cheese on her lips. He had never been a fan of gorgonzola. “Hold on Minnie,” Mr. Soria pleaded. “I have a life, a profession… I can’t just be with you like this. Besides,“ he ventured, “I’m an English teacher. I wouldn’t know what to do in an intimate situation even if I got the chance.” Mr. Soria again saw that weird little smile form on Minnie’s face. “That’s okay.” Minnie sighed into his ear. “I’ll teach you. But first, it’s time for your supper.” Mr. Soria was unhappy to find that since Minnie would not untie him, she had to feed the food to him with her hands. More than once Minnie would decide that he needed ketchup with his fries and allowed him to lick it off the tips of her gloved fingers. All the while Minnie gazed dreamily at Mr. Soria, wrapping him up in her big black eyes. After dinner Minnie washed the blood out of his face and hair while he sat, head down, just beginning to give into despair. Minnie eventually left, and he fell into an uncomfortable stupor in his chair, only to be woken up what seemed like only a moment later by Minnie’s voice in his ear and her hand on his cheek, ready to feed him breakfast. In between meals Minnie would teach him how to talk to women, how to flirt with women, and other things concerning women that made Mr. Soria very uncomfortable. As day after day passed, Mr. Soria became grimmer and grimmer, he would speak less, and the commands from Minnie he had previously been unwilling to follow he now performed obediently with a type of resigned sorrow. Finally, one day while he was eating lunch, he snapped. As Minnie’s hand came towards his mouth carrying a rolled up taco, he burst into tears. At once, Minnie’s loving smile transformed into concern, and she dropped the food and rushed to Mr. Soria’s side. “There, there.” Minnie gently whispered, wiping away his tears. “I know this must be stressful, but trust me when I say that this is really for your own good. I am the only one you can ever be happy with, can’t you see?” Mr. Soria looked up at Minnie, and for the first time he truly saw the caring in her deep black eyes, noticed the loving worry in her furrowed brow. “Yes,” sobbed Mr. Soria, almost to himself. “I can see it now. I’m so sorry I ever rebuffed you.” “It’s okay,” Minnie said, leaning closer, and once again Mr. Soria smelled the cheese on her breath. Cheddar was always a desirable flavor. “I’m so happy you’ve finally come around.” And as Minnie leaned in, Mr. Soria pursed his lips as he had been taught to do and leaned into her, and for the first time, they kissed in that musty basement, tears still streaming down Mr. Soria’s face as he felt her fur brush against his mustache. He found himself giving in to his passion more, not resisting as Minnie cradled his head in her arms, lips pushing, giving, almost melding with his own. And as Mr. Soria closed his eyes, he knew this was where he was always meant to be. Andrew Soria Memes and Fanart SoriaLooksAtStudent.jpg|An example of Soria Looks At... showing Andrew Soria looking at one of his disheveled students. SoriaReacts.jpg|An optional second panel for the Soria Looks At... meme, showing Andrew Soria looking satisfied after viewing the image. SoriaLooksAtTrump.jpg|An example of Soria Looks At... showing Andrew Soria viewing a picture of Donald Trump legalizing slavery. SoriaLooksAtOriginal.jpg|The template for Soria Looks At... SoriaLooksAtButt.jpg|An example of Soria Looks At... showing Andrew Soria looking at the behind of one of his students. SoriaLooksAtKenny.jpg|An example of Soria Looks At... showing Mr. Soria looking at at one of his students in a shirtless charge. soriaIsaiah.jpg|An example of Soria Looks At... showing Andrew Soria looking at one of his students in bandages.